It Gets Better

Yesterday after work, we caught a late lunch at a local fire oven pizza place in northwest Spokane. After lunch in an effort to soak up the stunning fall colors, Cole took me to the nearby state park - where he proposed nearly four years ago.

The air was crisp and the colors breathtaking as we walked up the path to the scenic overlook.  He held me close to stave off the chill - just like he did on that January day four years ago.  We stood there marveling at the view, the colors, and the journey we've been on these last four years.  He quoted the poem that he wrote for me for the proposal, we tried to find the exact location where he dropped to his knee, and we retraced and reminisced every step of that sweet, sweet day.  

We got back in the car to head home, and with every curve of the winding road back to the highway, I thought back to what it was like, driving those roads with a new title, fiancée, calling all of our family members, and just wondering aloud over and over again, "We're getting married.  We're getting married!" The details of that day are so ingrained in my memory, and I hope I never forget.

As we stood in that place where, almost four years ago, Cole asked me to be his wife, I could not help but to reflect on how much has changed since that day.  Standing there, with tears streaming down our faces in the icy January wind, we had no idea what lay ahead.  We couldn't anticipate the challenges, we couldn't fathom the joy.  We knew it wouldn't be easy, but - at that point - we didn't know just how much we didn't know.

I knew that I loved the feeling of his strong hand in mine; now, I know better the source of the strength and commitment behind that hand. I knew the thrill of the romance at being pursued by a wonderful, godly man; now, I know the thrill of the romance at being known, so totally known. I knew that he made me laugh; now, I know of the deep, deep joy of sharing my life with this man. I knew that he loved me then; now, I know better how he sacrifices daily for my good, often at great cost to his convenience. I knew that he loved God; now, I know the early mornings or late nights of long reading and quiet prayer and the deep-seeded yearning to discern and do His will. I knew that I couldn't wait to be his wife; now, I know that I wake nearly every morning and marvel at God's grace in giving me another day as Mrs. Cole Boboth.

I look back on that couple, standing at that overlook, giddy with excitement, and I can't help but laugh at how grown up we thought we were, at how we thought we loved each other, at how little we truly knew. I'm sure, years from now, I will look back on my 25 year old self and laugh for the very same reasons; but, this I know: marriage is harder than I ever thought it would be, marriage is infinitely sweeter than I ever thought it would be.  And, my friends, if these past four years are any indication, it only gets better.

The Latest

I've come to this space so many times in the last month, and I've turned right around and walked away.  I've started posts and ended posts and completely erased everything I've written.  I'm wrestling with this space, that is nothing new.  I've often wondered what to do here, how much to share, what to keep just for us.  And then, my grandmother died and a lot changed.  It seems like I see everything through a new filter, and there is a lot that seems far more trivial than it ever did.

Having shared bits and pieces of her here on this blog makes it suddenly feel like some sort of sacred space. As in, how can I come here and dance lightly with the silly things in life all while grappling with this deep, deep loss.  Such is the balancing act of grief, I suppose: recognizing the need to honor the memory and cherish the past, while growing and changing and moving forward.  

That said, I suppose it's about time for a trivial update.

Many days lately, I have felt left in the dust, scratching my head as to how it can even be possible that we're over halfway through October.  Riddle me that, my friend.  Wowza.  Where is this time and why has its marching cadence seemingly accelerated exponentially?!  We are now just under three weeks away from finishing Cole's rotation here in Spokane and heading to our next chapter in Denver, Colorado.  

This time in Spokane has been so sweet, but oh-so-fast!  Cole has been working 12 hour days, and God, in His outrageous provision and faithfulness, has blessed me with a full-time job as well.  With the days and weekends so jam-packed, it's no wonder the time has flown.  While we've been here, we have enjoyed reconnecting with old friends, exploring old stomping grounds, and a few weekend trips to central Washington to visit our niece and nephews.

One weekend, we were blessed with two nights at the Davenport Hotel.  It was a sweet, sweet time of reconnection with this amazing guy with whom I'm blessed to share my life.  We explored downtown Spokane like tourists and enjoyed every bit of this beautiful Spokane October we've had.

Last weekend was spent with Cole's family in central Washington: pumpkin patches, football games, and the most incredible niece and nephews we could ask for!  Every visit back there makes us that much more excited to be settled there in February.

With the remaining time we have left here, we're taking a quick trip to Oregon and one more trip back to Sunnyside before we leave for Colorado.  It's hard to believe how quickly the time has flown. It feels like we just stepped off the plane from Honolulu.  We're nearly halfway through this final year of Cole's schooling, and we could not be more thankful or in awe of God's provision through it all.

1000 GIFTS: 641-740

                                    **The 33rd, 34th, 35th, 36th, and 37th Installments of 1000 Gifts**

641.	A timely text from a friend back home.
642.	A glass of wine and a lingering conversation with my true love.
643.	Time in the Word.
644.	Kona Coffee.
645.	Literary 2x4's to the face.
646.	Free Shave Ice. Boom.
647.	Reconnecting with old friends.
648.	Becoming an aunt - again - x2.
649.	Grace in the hardware store.
650.	A reminder to trust.
651.	Double rainbows. (All the time, here!)
652.	Planning trips.
653.	Modern medicine.
654.	New friends and great conversation.
655.	Date night in Waikiki.
656.	The North Shore
657.	Exploring our new home.
658.	Kayaking with the wind at our backs.
659.	Grilled chicken.
660.	Planning for the future together.
661.	Aloe Vera.
662.	Generous landlords.
663.	Pina Coladas by the pool.
664.	51 years of life for my mama.
665.	Scary diagnoses, and a family that rallies together.
666.	A gracious boss.
667.	Pregnancy announcements. (!!!)
668.	Sunscreen.
669.	Fresh pineapple
670.	Fireworks seen from the backyard
671.	A visit from family
672.	Boogie boarding with my sister
673.	Tiki torches
674.	Beer and burgers for girls day out
675.	Mahi-mahi
676.	Spending the 4th with family
677.	Good late night conversation
678.	Makakilo Baptist Church
679.	A non-squeaky shopping cart
680.	The opportunity to housesit
681.	Mango salsa.
682.	Learning to embrace the quiet.
683.	Productive days-off.
684.	Quiet time.
685.	Three years as Cole's wife.
686.	Free milkshakes.
687.	Fresh tomatoes (!!!)
688.	A great biography on the beach.
689.	Experimenting in the kitchen (and having it turn out!)
690.	A surprise day off with my man!
691.	Reading through old journals and tracing God's faithfulness through our lives.
692.	Breakfast with old coworkers!
693.	A phone call from a former student of mine.
694.	Peanut sauce and mangoes. Try it and thank me later.
695.	An air-conditioned library
696.	Grandma's safe surgery
697.	Christmas in July
698.	The Bonhoeffer Biography
699.	A visit from an old friend
700.	Comfortable silence
701.	Finishing a book
702.	Laughing with my husband
703.	Hearing about my siblings' successes.
704.	Sharp kitchen knives.
705.	White subway tile.
706.	The scent on his pillow.
707.	A soul-cleansing cry.
708.	Romans.
709.	Tortilla chips.
710.	Tempura California Rolls.
711.	Conference calls with family.
712.	Hope in the heartache.
713.	"Your Glory in my valley."
714.	Difficult providence.
715.	The gift of Grandma Kate's life.
716.	The comfort in being with family.
717.	Reminiscing with cousins.
718.	Grandpa's stories.
719.	Their 60 year long love story.
720.	Kelly Marie's scones.
721.	A sister sleepover.
722.	Coffee with my favorite 2-year-old.
723.	Carpet shopping with my guy.
724.	Nyquil.
725.	Elsie's laugh.
726.	Lunch with an uncle and aunt.
727.	Fresh mozzarella.
728.	Remembering with laughter.
729.	A night of 'just us.'
730.	Wendy's with Kelly.
731.	Lingering conversation with my in-laws. Hours after the food has been cleared away.
732.	The hospitality of good friends.
733.	A long walk and a great conversation.
734.	McMenamin's tots.
735.	Being back with our people.
736.	Yakima Valley peaches.
737.	Yakima Valley peaches: grilled and topped with goat cheese and honey. Amen.
738.	A girls' day with my mom.
739.	Grandma's yellowed music.
740.	Walking "The Hill" with my mom.

Looking back over these last 100 days, it is quite humbling to reflect on the highs, lows, and ever-present faithfulness of our God in the midst of it all.  It's been quite the summer.