Accustomed

Two months into marriage, I wondered if I'd ever have a full night's sleep again.  Not having lived together before we got married, both of us had an adjustment period of sorts as we learned to live - and, yes, sleep - with one another.  At some point nearly every night I was awakened by either a slumberous slap or elbow to the head.  If it wasn't that, it was his tossing and turning or the way he breathed in his sleep that kept my sleep at bay.  While every sleepless moment was completely worth it just to lay beside him, my sanity was beginning to wane.

***

I got exactly 2.33 hours of sleep last night.  I know, because I was completely unsuccessful in avoiding eye contact with the mocking clock - ticking off the moments until I had to wake and face an already-full day.  Suddenly, alone in my sterile hotel room, I was painfully aware of the absence of that familiar cadence of his breathing that lulls me to sleep each night.  The cold, still, empty left side of the bed was suddenly cavernously obvious.   I tossed and turned fitfully, willing sleep to come.  The only answer I got was the beep of the clock, reminding me that I was now one hour closer to dawn.

***

One night those newlywed sleepless nights ended.  I don't know when, for it certainly didn't announce itself; but one day I simply woke up and realized it had been a restful night, then a week of restful nights. And now, it seems, I just can't sleep without him.

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1000 Gifts: 321-340

-The Seventeenth Installment of 1000 Gifts- 321.  Hawaii

322.  Cinnamon Rolls with Ty

323.  Spokane Placement

324.  Flavored water

325.  Instagram

326.  A night at home

327.  Free food

328.  Youth Group

329.  Morning Coffee

330.  Cranberry Juice mixed with Orange Juice.  Try it. You're welcome.

331.  Potato rolls

332.  Closing the office early

333.  The Olympic Theme Song.  Anyone else?

334.  Patriotism

335.  Family willing to drive long distances for a visit

336.  An evening walk with Cole

337.  Homemade bread

338.  Beach Volleyball

339.  S'mores with the small group

340.  The Olympics What are you thankful for this week?

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Embracing the "Be"

As I get older, I'm finding (rather, I'm becoming more aware of a tendency that's always been there) that I don't particularly love times of "in-between."  I've written here often of my struggle with contentment in this stage of life, and - I fear - based on my track record, this will be an ongoing struggle in all stages of life.

There are often different titles assigned to people in transitory stages of life: college-graduate-to-be, bride-to-be, mother-to-be, etc.  And, without formally noting it, such titles accompany most stages of life: homeowner-to-be, mother-of-a-kindergartener-to-be, wife-of-a-doctor-to-be, grandmother-to-be.  All implying a waiting of sorts.

When I was a bride-to-be, I often found myself thinking more on the days of my life as Mrs. Cole Boboth, rather than my present-day state of Mrs-Cole-Boboth-to-be. How would I decorate our first home together?  What would I cook for his dinner every night?  What would our weekend plans be?  Our engagement lasted six months.  So, I had six months to plan a wedding and *happily* kiss my single life goodbye. Six months that I was still a student, still on committees, still keeping up friendships, still having so much to contribute as bride-to-be before becoming a bride.... yet much of my time was spent wishing away that time.  Wishing desperately for the day when I could drop the "to-be" in my title.

Someday, Lord willing, I will be a mother-to-be.  Based on extensive scientific study and my keen sense of observation, I'm quite certain that there will be times when I wish away that "to-be" as well. Yet, those nine months are not for naught, not to be wished away.

Slowly, I am learning to embrace the "be" in whatever stage of life in which I've been placed, learning to embrace the tension that exists in the almost-but-not-yet.  There are still days when I look at the calendar and mentally count down the days until the next "to-be" is dropped from my title. Still, sometimes I wistfully look at others who've long since dropped their "to-be"s and wonder what it might be like on their side.  Yet, it can be tiresome to be always living waiting for the next season to get here already.  Not only tiresome, but it completely robs the joy from the "to-be" season.

I don't want to waste this time, or any time, wishing for something else.

That's all.  I'm just learning to embrace the be.

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Inhale, Exhale

*Written 8-22. I forgot to hit 'Submit'  Quite standard these days.*

Drink deep the blessings.

Today, it was back to the grind after 8 blissful days off. After that much time off, I always feel the need to heartily brace myself for the coming upheaval.  Returning to reality is no small task. We spent time with my family, we spent time with his family, we spent time with just the two of us.  And, let me tell you, it was exactly what the doctor ordered.

I wish I had pictures to show you what we did, but - alas - we were having too much fun doing it to stop and record, so you're stuck with lousy phone-photos.  We spent a few days in Pendleton using a free night's stay and a few free rounds of golf.  Boy, did we have fun!  Even though we were the youngest ones there, we had a phenomenal time just being together.                                              

                

From there, we went to Spokane and enjoyed an all-too-brief stay with my folks, comprised of dinner with my grandparents, an afternoon on the boat, dinner with old friends, and a nice, long walk with one of my besties - my mom.

Our trip ended with a stay with Cole's folks in Sunnyside.  Two whole days with his family - so sweet. While we didn't have anything in particular planned, it was so wonderful to spend time with family - and the sweetest niece you'll ever meet.

Though life inevitably returns to its all-too-breathless pace, this week was such a wonderful blessing to be able to stop, breathe, and drink deep.  And my anthem continues: what a wonderful gift this family is.  Such outrageous Grace.

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